It took me quite a while to feel this;

 

Resignation.

 

That some people are just born that way. No matter how they were brought up, no matter how the nature took its course, no matter how you tried to find the loophole between them, probably just a tiny shimmer of hope,

You wouldn’t find it. You’ll never find it.

 

It has cost me my years, chipped a tiny piece of my heart but now I have come to understand.

 

What Kak Us meant when she said I was stupid all those years ago. That bit about giving and giving and giving and not caring enough to receive.

 

Now I’ve finally understood. And now I’ve come to accept it.

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