It always irritates me when I hear someone complains of not knowing how to do something.

 

I simply think there’s no such thing. There’s no I don’t know. There’s only I’m too lazy to learn.

Though when it comes to cooking, I’m entitled to a slightly different opinion. Let’s just say we have a somewhat love-hate relationship.

 

Looking back, I’ve improved a lot. And I mean, A LOT.

 

When I first arrived in Bangalore, I cooked using melted butter instead of oil. My omelette used to be burnt on one side because I didn’t know I was supposed to flip it on both sides. I had my housemates laughed at me because I thought siang ikan was literally drying them out under the sun (which fool invented those words anyway?). 

 

The other day in another of my attempt to cook, I switched on the stove and threw the scallops into the pan. As my scallops started to burn, my eyes were scanning the kitchen wildly.

Oil, dammit, oil!

I knew I’d forgotten something!

 

I could go on and on really.

 

Today, here I am. Still a dumb cooker. My common sense fails to work whenever I’m in the kitchen.

 

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So sometime around this week, I attempted to make my own patty burger. One, because there isn’t any in Bangalore. And two, at least I know this is real meat.

It’s real easy. Just mixed in some minced meat, egg, bread crumbs, sauce, mayonnaise, cheese, scallops, oregano etc. Basically, everything with calories.

 

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This would be ideal if I’d planned to make a kebab. Which I didn’t.

Too many eggs (but how many is too many? I only put one).

 

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But I gotta say, it still made one wicked burger. Yum.

 

Mum will ask, why are there no veggies??

And I’ll reply, Veggies are for rabbits. I’m human.

 

I’m saving on future conversation on the phone with you here mum. This is my contribution to save the earth.

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