A friend was kind enough to forward me this email:

 

Criterias for becoming a Malaysian Govt Doctor. There’s no need for an aptitude test. Students should consider these requirements:

 

1. No life outside medicine; this includes dating, sports, clubbing, chores for your parents and visiting the toilet.

 

2. Not to live with your parents. Move out ASAP as they will never understand the ludicrous working hours that you go through. Furthermore, chores are not suitable for you as to rule No. 1.

 

3. Not to be married until completion of all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service as you will be transferred left and right to some of the most remote Govt clinics in Malaysia. Having wife and kids to follow you to your new working area may increase high level of stress on all parties. Furthermore, if your spouse is a Govt Doctor, he/she will also be transferred away from you and no matter what appeal is made, KKM will put up a deaf ear (unless you have big cables or of a certain skin colour).

 

4. If married, no to have children until you finish all 4 years of Govt Compulsory service, as to which you and your spouse will not have much time for your child/children or they end up not recognizing you and refer the Indonesian maid as their mother (change in language patterns commonly follow).

5. To obtain life insurance once your govt service begins as there is not many claims for accidents during work. Don’t be fooled, Doctoring in Malaysia is hazardous.

 

6. Able to withstand 36 hours of non stop work and stress without mistakenly labelling Left for Right or uvula for vulva (or Volvo S40)

 

7. To buy a car with complete safety features (like I’m doing) which includes multiple airbags, ABS, EBD, side-front-rear-top-parallel and diagonal impact bars and seat belts to ensure survivability if you are involved in an accident because your driving resembled a drunkard maniac after working in the hospital for 40 hrs non stop.

 

8. Constant supply of coffee.

9. Nicotine Patch as you will have the urge to start smoking due to overwhelming stress.

 

10. Interest in watching medical sitcoms such as House MD, Scrubs, ER, Grays Anatomy and Chicago Hope to inspire you to continue your life as a doctor as the exciting things you see on TV does not resemble the real life of a Malaysian govt doctor.

 

11. Not to have any pets or plants (not even cactuses) as you will have no time to feed or care for them and eventually all will end up in your mortuary.

 

12. Able to endure the stench of your own sweat as to when 36 hours "on call" does not permit you time to bathe or freshen up.

13. Able to carry on working without food or water over 15 hours (I was in OT for 16 hrs without food, water or bathroom breaks). If during fasting month, able to break your fast with water for injection as you had no time to buy food.

 

14. Able to come to work with fever/cough/illness or physical disability (sprained ankle etc) as to which doctors do not deserve MCs (My MO was on crutches during rounds).

 

15. Able to stand scolding, destructive criticism, kiss ass behaviours, racial bias, finger pointing, scape goating, and incompetency from your superiors.

 

16. Able to withstand the jealousy when your friends call you up for some fun and you’re stuck in the hospital during on call.

All I can say is,

 

Mum, please refer to number 7. It’s the most important thing of all *serious face*

And number 3 is excellent.

They should add another one,

 

17. Hire a maid as you won’t have the time to do your chores.

 

Ok Mum, that one also ok?

 

 

The rest? What can I say…bring it on. Not everyone gets to complain as such. Only doctors working in Malaysia. Hahahaha. Such liberty.

 

And irony  =____=”

 

 

But first I need to study. Ok bye.

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