One of the best lessons I learn in life, is that people change all the time.
No one ever stop doing so.
Without alleging that fact, I might still be crawling on my knees, grasping in the dark, oblivious to the happening.
Some people change in parallel.
Like a railway track. No matter how far the track stretches, both lines complement each other. Together, they serve their purpose.
Some people change unparalleled.
You see those tree branches? They grow spread apart, determined to be as far as they could from each other.
Most people belong in this category.
“Ditch the rejects! Let’s sprint after the falling star!”
I have come to accept that I could never predict the future. I could not tell how I will act, I could not foresee people’s attitude towards me. As such, I do not dare say what I have today, I will still be grasping them in my hands tomorrow.
Today they stay. Tomorrow they might slip away.
When I compared the past and the present, there seemed to be a lot of mismatched. A lot of things I thought would stay, but did not.
Friends are replaced by strangers. The familiarity fades. The awkwardness persists.
Already the sleeves of fate seem to be bending and twisting in a pattern I could not unfold. The waves bring me further away, even when my feet are buried deep in the sand.
It’s far from the fantasy of living my life in ease.
Sometimes I feel like throwing a fit and scream with all my might. I want a magic wand and say the magic chant. And then I close my eyes and everything would go back to the way they were.
We let each other down, it’s what we choose. Things as such, make me feel vulnerable to be dependent.
I live for tomorrow, and the days after that.
But maybe tomorrow I would wake up to the day of yesterday.
I would like that. Very much.