I couldn’t concentrate on studying despite the fact that the monthly test is tomorrow. I never felt so unprepared for an exam before. So many things I haven’t read and memorise. And yet I couldn’t seem to focus.
I hate this.
I hate not knowing what’s distracting me.
How could I solve what I don’t know?
I still feel I’m walking without any direction. I am not lost. But why is it that I still feel reluctant?
How? When I don’t even know?
I like plunging into things blindly. Thinking that the unknown is somewhat more exciting. And that no matter what, I’ll be able to cope. I must cope.
I never thought of other possibilities. I never considered failing, because that’s just ridiculous. I could do what I’ve set my heart on.
The more people say I couldn’t, the more I want to prove I could.
The more they say I’m like this, the more I want to be like that.
The more they expect me to be obedient, the more I rebel.
So why did I succumb this time?
Who the fuck says following the parallel lines is easier?