I couldn’t concentrate on studying despite the fact that the monthly test is tomorrow. I never felt so unprepared for an exam before. So many things I haven’t read and memorise. And yet I couldn’t seem to focus.

I hate this.

I hate not knowing what’s distracting me.

How could I solve what I don’t know?

I still feel I’m walking without any direction. I am not lost. But why is it that I still feel reluctant?

How? When I don’t even know?

I like plunging into things blindly. Thinking that the unknown is somewhat more exciting. And that no matter what, I’ll be able to cope. I must cope.

I never thought of other possibilities. I never considered failing, because that’s just ridiculous. I could do what I’ve set my heart on.

The more people say I couldn’t, the more I want to prove I could.

The more they say I’m like this, the more I want to be like that.

The more they expect me to be obedient, the more I rebel.

So why did I succumb this time?

 

Who the fuck says following the parallel lines is easier?

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