I am officially depressed. That’s right, DEPRESSED. This is not Mimi’s kind of depressed because she’s fasting or Seena’s kind of depressed because she couldn’t answer some Math question.

No, this is MAJOR, kindda deja vu kind of depressed. Maybe one of the post-exams symptoms, however weird that may sounds. But I think that’s it. I snapped at my parents a lot these last couple of days. Hung up the phone, felt guilty and called them back to apologise. It happened so often that I found myself telling myself that it’s not cool to do that. It’s not cool to hurt people on purpose and then apologise. Things don’t work that way. But maybe because they’re my parents and I knew they’d forgive me against any odds,I kept repeating it.

I ought to be shot in the head.

I’ve shortlived my N73 by throwing it the other day. Yup. Twice. Even now, when my phone’s blinking the message: battery low, I feel like chucking it outta windows. I even have issues with my phone. Trust me, rage is not my first cousin anymore. Ignoring though, is still is. Even my friends say I’m ruthless and yes, I do think so. In fact, more than ever. I, of all people, don’t give any damn. So sue me.

I’m just thinking…about my exams. Shut it that exams aren’t everything. Sure they aren’t, but they’re still something of values that people seem to look at. Results wouldn’t be out for another month and I’m already freaking out. The thing is, if I were able to maintain my GPA this semester, then I could breathe. Then my CGPA would be safe. Then I can think about medicine.

Anyways, guess what happened yesterday?

I slipped in the toilet. Not only did I have to go up and down the staircase 4 times because the stupid washing machine wouldn’t accept 50 cents, I had to land on my butt in the toilet as well! The slippers were slippery and I had only one foot on the floor (I wanted to wash my feet), and the next thing I knew I was shrieking and landed on the floor with a thud. Ouch. Thankfully there was nobody around to witness my humiliation, and thankfully the tiles were dry. I was awarded by a couple of nasty scratches on my feet, but that’s it. I got myself up, did not pretend as if nothing had happened, considered the situation and laughed my head off. Hey, there’s a first for everything aite? Mine happened smoothly =P

Guess what happened the day before?

Okay, shoot. I was in GSC with Seha, watching Narnia. A few minutes before the film ended, I put my drink in the cup holder firmly, intending to leave it there because I couldn’t finish it. Note that my drink was a large Coke and it was still more than half full. The credits rolled and people around us were already scrambling to go out, using the lights from the opened doors because the lights in the cineplex were still not switched on. I got up, brushed popcorns off my clothes and turned 45 degrees to leave. Then I saw a drink spinning in midair, landed perfectly on the shoulder of a woman sitting in front of me, emptying its content before it bounced off again. Amused, I wondered who did that.

Then Seha said, “Nisa, tu bukan air ko ke?”


I glanced at the cup holder and my drink was missing! The drink that had landed flat on the women was MINE. It was impossible! I did not, I swear, knocked it or anything. And even if I did, surely it would fall to the floor? Surely it wouldn’t do some Jackie Chan act, wouldn’t seem as if someone had thrown the drink?

Realising this with horror, I said “Sorry!” repeatedly to the women. She was cursing, trying to clean the mess. One thing was clear, she was mad. Really really mad. But she didn’t turn around. It was dark and she couldn’t even see my face. So I did the next logic thing I could think of; I ran for the exit. It was like a hit-and-run case and indeed, I feel ashamed of myself even as I’m writing this but hey, I was terrified okay? I should be forgiven. Especially since I didn’t know how my drink managed to fly and the fact that the women was wearing black. Coke stain on a black blouse, shouldn’t be too obvious right?

After that, of course, I laughed at the whole thing. Puzzled and amused at the same time. Until now I still wonder, how did it happen?

See what I meant by post-exams symptoms?