Waking up this morning (afternoon should be it :P), I felt, at last, I was ready for Raya. The house looked as if it had been hit by a bomb a minute before. Things were all out of their places. Things to be dusted, to be polished, to be cleaned, to be put away etc.. the usual a-couple-of-days-before-raya scene. I felt completely right at home.
It also hit me with a realisation that within the next couple of days, Mum would be nagging at me to tidy up my room. Ah. Bother. What’s the point really? People won’t be coming to our house to visit my bedroom. Raya is suppose to be about mengeratkan silaturrahim and all those mushy stuff right? So the tidiness of my room shouldn’t be an issue. Besides, no matter how I tidied it up, it always looked as if it’s been hit by a continuous earthquake. An earthquake which, FYI, only affected my room and not the other parts of the house.
Anyway, I came across Jack today.
is Jack. It’s a puppet. It’s also my little sister dearest companion. At least, it used to be. I remember, someone gave it to her on her very 1st birthday. I couldn’t remember who. That was 6 years ago. For some reason, my sister favoured it the most. Clinging to it practically 24/7 a day, and like most kids, she wouldn’t be able to sleep without it. Even when we went travelling, my mum would make sure Jack wasn’t left behind. This went on for months and since Mum had troubles pulling those two apart, especially since Jack needed regular washing, she bought my sis another similar one. A Jack whose colours weren’t faded. A Jack who didn’t need patching up. Another Jack. A new Jack. But it was futile, because she didn’t want that new Jack. She wanted her old Jack. So the new Jack was kept on my mum’s sidetable, untouched.
All of us knew who Jack was. Sometimes, we’d steal or hide it from her. Just for the sake of watching her looking for it. Or trying to shake her out of that habit. It wasn’t necessary though, because after a few years, she grew out of it. How? I do not know. She just grew out of it. She didn’t throw Jack away, or give it away like most of the toys Jack’s age. She kept it in her toy cabinet. As for the new Jack? I don’t have the slightest idea concerning it’s whereabout. She never took on another plushie after that.
Tonight, I found Jack again. When I showed it to her, she immediately took it and cuddled it to sleep. Just like she used to.
It was then I realised, that we’ve been going through the same experience over and over again in our lives. There are things we once LOVED and TREASURED. Things which left impacts on us. Things we couldn’t possibly live without. Be it 10 days, or 10 months, or even 10 years, they were things we couldn’t possibly replace. As time rolled by though, we grew out of them didn’t we? But they would never be forgotten. Like Jack, being stashed in a drawer. And memories, stashed in our minds.
One fine day, we would come across those memories once more. One fine day, our past will eventually catch up on us.
But what if I didn’t find Jack?