Weekend happenings

I had a brutal weekend last week.

 

With all the house chores and makan-makan and baking and stuff, I barely had enough time to rest  T__T

 

So today I qada’ tido dengan hebat. Slept at 3.15 am last night and woke up at 12.40 pm today. Took a bath, prayed, ate lunch, read story book, and slept again from 2 pm to 4.40 pm. Woke up and went for my run.

(I did not bunk class! My exam was on last Friday so I get 2 days off before the next one on Weds)

 

I was only awake for an hour plus epic or not haha!

 

Anyway, stuff I did during the weekend!

 

#1

 

Celebrated Imah’s birthday at Mainland of China in Orion Mall. An awesome new mall hooyah!!

 

 

 

 

Moment gile!! Am I an awesome photographer or what haha! Tasha’s gonna kill me when she sees this so I better start digging my grave now wth.

 

Sad face epic fail T___T

 

Ni baru macam camera I banyak my pictures HAHA.

 

With soulmate *blows nose on a tissue*

 

 

#2 Had lunch with my batchmates on Saturday

Menu was seafood. We had butter crabs, steamed fish and er, I-dunno-what-dish-clams which btw, WAS COOKED BY ME *flips hair*

 

#3

Surprised Imah with chocolate brownies on Saturday night.

I would say this is PERFECT. It’s crunchy on the outside but gooey and chewy on the inside.

Well, my friends did say I’m narcissistic haha. I’ll accept that as a compliment thank you thank you.

The only problem I had with this was that it tend to stick to the baking paper. But Mimi suggested I used foil so Imma try that next time.

 

 

 

Pictures are all stolen from Mimi’s instagram I LOVE YOU MIMI XOXO

 

#4

Baked carrot cake (again!) for a friend’s husband-to-be’s birthday (awwww) on Sunday afternoon.

 

When Mai offered to pay me I was like, are you crazy you’re my friend what this pay pay. Maybe I’ll accept orders in the future, but not now

 

Ooooh, yesterday while doing this I had the idea to put the icing (cream cheese) in the fridge beforehand. And alhamdulillah it was certainly easier to spread on the cake! Less messy, certainly.

So if your icing is a bit runny, you can try popping it in the fridge for 10 minutes

 

I’d love to have it studded with only edible silver balls all over but then I had to remind myself this was supposed to be a guy’s cake.

=____=”

 

Next time, insyaAllah!

Sweets and calories

Hi.

 

Before you ask, I just feel like writing. Ok, tipu. I’m dead exhausted but it’s still too early too sleep.

 

I’m so not an early sleeper. Pastu esok kat kelas mengantuk wtf  =____=”

Dah la psychiatry. PSYCHIATRY ok.

Aish, stressu!

 

Sometime last week was Zie’s birthday. And someone whose birthday wasn’t even hers requested for carrot cake. Again.

 

Because everyone likes it so much, this time I made a huge ass one.

 

 

This cake is still the most requested cake- which is bothersome because there are still a lot of recipes out there I’m dying to try!!

 

But I can’t deny it’s good *flips hair*

 

 

I brought those candles from Malaysia because, believe it or not, I’m planning to carry them around in my bag during my birthday (which isn’t long now *coughs*) for my future birthday cakes.

 

You know, just in case my friends decide to surprise me, I could just reach into my bag and say, “Hey, look! I happen to have some candles here!!”

They don’t usually give candles with birthday cakes here. And I like my cakes with candles coz they’re so festive!!!

 

Berwawasan jauh or not me HAHA.

 

 

The deco this time is carrot flowers!! And some edible stones and almond.

I suck at making carrot flowers =____=”

 

 

The other thing I baked last week were these; Black Bottom cupcakes. Because they really have black bottoms lol.

 

It’s gooey chocolate based with baked cream cheese mixed with choc chips and topped with cream cheese icing.

 

In short, they’re laden with calories.

In short, if you eat them everyday you’ll be obese in no time.

 

 

Alright! There you go!

Now I can go to sleep. Sweet dreams!

Comeback

And today,

 

The loneliness that had carved itself deeply into my heart, gave me, surprisingly, the solitude that has seemingly been out of reach in light of the days.

 

A moment of humility, so brief and rare, that I could only see it as the work of none others than that of Allah’s.

 

A proof, that when the mind perceives differently, the eyes see beautifully.

 

It’s a gift that couldn’t be bought.

 

 

My current addiction. It’s a beautiful song, masyaAllah.

 

Nasyeed ok nasyeed. When have you ever seen nasyeed on my blog I ask you.

Lost

Light to light, ashes to ashes.

And dust, to dust.

 

One would expect during my years as a medical student, I would have gotten used to life, would be oblivious to the bitter taste of death. But I haven’t.

I don’t think I ever will.

 

There was that one time when I did CPR on an unconscious patient. Palms fixed firmly on her chest, my arms straight, my shoulders hunched, my body weighing down. Counted to 30 again, and again, all the while glancing towards the ECG, desperate for any sign of life, the slightest wave giving hopes.

 

As my breathe laboured, beads of sweat trickling down, the oxygen saturation dropped, the ECG flattened. Her pupils dilated, her airway collapsed, her arms hung limply, the warmth slowly leaving her body.

The doctor pronounced her dead.

 

I watched the doctor approached the attendant, the daughter perhaps, breaking the news gently, her expression impassive. I watched her stricken face, the shadow that fell upon the tears that followed, heard her wailings soon after. I remember feeling detached, amid the chaos, as if I was watching a drama. An emptiness I couldn’t quite put a finger on.

 

One could never expect death. The way it hovers over us, the gentle tug at our hearts, the acrid smell of grief. A phone call that awoke you from your sleep perhaps, a sentence uttered that brings the sky crashing down. A love one snatched cruelly forever.

 

The first one I lost was my late grandfather. That was 5 years ago. Yesterday, I lost my grandma. I lost one of my anchors.

 

With my grandpa it was different. I was by his bedside each day, holding his hands. I was there when he slipped into a coma, whispering Yasin softly into his ears. I was there when he took his last breath. I was there slipping my arm into my grandma’s, offering her comfort when I too, was shaken with grief. I saw his body wrapped in a simple white cotton, lifeless. Felt the coolness of his forehead when I kissed it for the last time. Stood under the glaring sun, as the last grain of earth swallowed each part of him.

 

With my grandma I knew it from a phone call. This, for someone who brought me up. This, when I’m only a week away from coming home.

This, 2 days before exams.

 

I wanted to scream my lungs out, stamped my feet at the unfairness of it all. But all I could do was buckled down. My chest constricted, my mouth gasping, swallowing huge gulps of air, my heart pumping furiously.

My tears, silent.

 

She was supposed to wait for me to come home, her smile radiating with warmth, the smell of fried custard puffs filling her kitchen as always. She was supposed to come to my graduation day, her face etched with joy, her bear hug engulfing me. She was supposed to be at my wedding, hold my first child in her arms lovingly.

She was supposed to live on forever.

 

Even now, even when I’m nowhere near, I crave the comfort of her presence. I crave the comfort of knowing she’s alive and well, waiting, as always. The slow paces, her walking stick supporting her weight, her legs peeking from her jubah, the blue veins visible through her thin skin.

 

Home seems so far away.

Al-Fatihah.

Red

For the first time in 4 years, we celebrated Ain’s birthday on the day itself.

 

Because thanks to the new system, there isn’t any Profesional exam lurking nearby this year. Even thinking about it makes me winced.

 

Went to HKG to celebrate. Didn’t take any picture because…..I dined there every week. And the cake came later anyway.

 

 

Happy 23rd birthday Ain!

 

 

 

Muka baru bangun tidur, hooyah.

 

This time I made steamed red velvet. I like this one better because steamed cakes usually turn out to be more moist and it’s more compact.

 

 

It’s Holi-day (Festival of Colours) today and thus is a holiday for lucky people like me hehe. It isn’t an official off day but my doctor isn’t in so hooray!

 

Another day at home, another day to waste.

2 weeks to exams, ouch.

Out with the old, in with the new

Might I just say,

 

WHY IS IT SO HOT NOW

 

A  rhetorical question, not a statement. It’s 34 degrees nowadays, bloody hell.

 

Anyway!

 

Without realising it, I’ve been running almost everyday for more than 6 months now *fireworks* Over time, I’ve upped my running to at least 7 km per day, five times a week.

I run under the scorching sun. I run in the rain. I run through cold and cough.

 

If going out meant I’d miss my daily run, then I’d rather stay at home. It’s the best therapy. Nothing fuels me better than anger and frustrations. The more depressed I am, the further I run.

 

Were I that committed towards my studies, I’d have gotten distinction by now =_____=” But then again, you can’t have too many smart people in this world. It imbalances life *coughs*

 

Quite an achievement for someone who used to think sweating was unnatural.

 

 

These have been my companions over the past 2 and a half years, maybe even longer. I bought them back during the starting of 2nd year when I first picked up running.

 

The soles have thinned out, parts of it are torn, and the other day I realised the white of my socks was peeking out.

 

This is the first time I’ve exhausted a pair of shoes!  *proud*

 

So I decided it’s time to change.

 

Lunar Eclipse 2

 

I’ve been eyeing these for months (2 months is considered as months right?) but heck were they expensive T___T

 

Dad was like why you so frugal one I give you the money you go and buy shuh shuh. Arigatou goizaimasu! *teary eyes*

 

Oh but how I love these!! They’re lightweight and comfortable. The first time I stepped in them it felt like walking on cushions. Airmax are more comfy but they’re not that light either, seeing as they’re built for an all-rounder. And they’re much more expensive as well T__T

 

So if you’re looking for a pair of running shoes, I’d say these are perfect

So long soulmate!

You’re no longer 22 please don’t pollute the surrounding we 22 year-olds are living in.

 

Mimi is THE most gullible person I’ve ever known. She’s blur most of the time and so that makes surprising her easy.

 

Every year also she’s surprised =_____=”

Which is good also lah. Heheheh.

 

This time we did everything under her nose and still she couldn’t guess!

(what did I say about her being gullible?)

I was the decoy, hanging out with her in her room while the others sneaked in quietly and prepared the living room.

 

Then I bullied her, “Mimi I nak tea,” which wasn’t anything out of normal considering I do that all the time *shifty eyed*

 

When she opened her bedroom door TADAHHHHH

 

The party poppers are annoying! Selalu tak popped at the exact moment!

 

Birthday cake is homemade again. Alright I’m now open for orders!!

Just kidding. No way man.

 

 

 

Kak Sha’s the only one properly dressed! Everyone else were in their PJs lol.

 

My handicraft skills are gone with my high school days. Look so ugly one T___T

 

A feast! MJ made soto! I would say that was the first time I ate soto I DUNNO WHAT I’VE BEEN EATING ALL THESE YEARS IN MALAYSIA #loser

 

 

Fairy godmother. She forgot her wand in her room.

 

The cake matched with the carpet wth

 

Post-birthday photo shoot in PJs

 

 

 

Bean Sprout & Flower

 

We watched Disturbia on tv that night and- WHAT WAS I DOING HERE WATCHING THIS MOVIE???- was exactly my thought! I hate thrillers as much as I hate ghost movies!

 

I know people always say, “It’s just a movie DUHHH.” but it’s never just a movie! Why do you think Hollywood producers and actors are squillonaires? And don’t lie and say you don’t give two hoots about the Oscars. Because it’s never just a movie.

 

DUH you back.

Too Much Chocolate

Slammed down by flu and sore throat isn’t nice.

 

Well, anything that disrupts my appetite isn’t nice really. Wasn’t I sick just a couple of months ago?? Isn’t this like, too soon??

 

 

Anyway, during the weekend I’d decided to try baking chocolate cake. I said try because, well, to be honest, chocolate cake scares the bejeezus outta me.

 

Which is why I’ve never attempted making one before. I’ve made choc brownies and molten choc cakes beforehand- but never just choc cake. I know it’s really easy to make, and I know it’s the commonest cake ever to be found but I’ve never eaten one I really love.

 

Because it’s so common, expectations are high. Get what I mean?

 

 

 

As it is my tradition, whatever I baked goes out to my closest friends first. I bake often enough that my friends are guaranteed at least one type of dessert each weekend. I don’t really eat whatever I make. It’s satisfactory. Where else are you gonna get cakes laden with almonds and walnuts and cadbury and cream cheese? Yum.

 

But this one was so scary even the sight of The Smurfs gobbling it down in seconds couldn’t convince me. I ate the very last piece the day after, and still I wasn’t that sure wtf.

 

After intense drilling and interrogations, I think it deserves a page in my recipe book.

 

 

 

I think.

Obsession

This is my kitchen. And this is how I like it.

 

 

Spotless.

 

One of the things I never missed doing everyday is just that; tidying up the kitchen. I like it clean and tidy at all times. Even the sight of a mug sitting innocently on the kitchen counter could spark my annoyance.

 

I suspect I have Kitchen OCD  T___T

 

Like this morning I went to the kitchen to make myself breakfast but then I saw the plates piling up in the sink and before I knew it I’d spend an hour plus scrubbing the kitchen counter and God knows what else that took me so long.

 

Last last I forgot to eat breakfast wth.

 

One of my friends asked me (while I was obsessively wiping some imaginary dust off the floor),

“You’re wearing slippers. How the hell do you know there’s dust there? I don’t see anything.”

“I just know.” *pursed lips*

 

Kak Us would be so proud of me!!!

 

My new The Love of My Life!! My housemate got it for me after she saw me scrubbing mercilessly at the stubborn greases on the kitchen wall. This stuff is fab!

 

I couldn’t tolerate messiness. And that I see as a flaw at times. I tend to clean as I bake(can’t say cook here). But some people like saving that for later. And, well, there’s no harm in that actually.

 

But sometimes (well, most of the time really) when I see the pots and pans left on the stove unwashed for days, it makes me wonder who do they expect to wash those. I mean, they’re not gonna walk by themselves into the sink and get themselves scrubbed clean right?

 

Got ah pots and pans like that? If got I want a set kthxbye.

 

Because let’s face it, we’re adults. And being adults means we bear responsibilities. And correct me if I’m wrong but I believe responsibilities start here right at home.

If you can’t even wash your own plate, macam mana mau kawen macam itu?

 

But if there’s one thing I’ve learnt, common sense isn’t that common nowadays. What can’t be avoided must be endured. And with endurance there must be sincerity. Or else it’s all hard work for nothing.

 

So the next time you see the mugs and plates dumped in the sink, see it as an opportunity to make a good deed.

You’ll have a clean kitchen and extra pahala lol.

 

Who knows I’ll finally have toned arms from all the scrubbing. Triple yay!

Memento Mori

When we were in Paris, one of the places we visited was

 

The Louvre.

The entrance fee was 10 euros if I’m not mistaken. I do think the glass triangle thingy (which is the entrance) spoils the whole look. The Louvre is actually the long stretch of buildings surrounding it.

Beautiful.

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

Now, the thing is, I’m not a big fan of arts (refer Florence). There’s just so many statues and paintings and carvings I could take in at one time. I mean, they all look pretty much the same don’t they?

 

 

Look at the ceiling, whoah!!

 

Most people come to the Louvre for one thing, and one thing only-

The Monalisa.

 

And truth to be told, this room was the only jam-packed room in the whole museum.

Once you’ve seen the Monalisa, you’ve seen them all. That’s what I think.

 

This painting could be found opposite the Monalisa. For some reason it impressed the hell out of me (maybe coz it’s so huge). I think it’s called The Wedding.

 

Coming back to the title of the post- one of the genres I love is history fiction. Particularly that of England between the 15th-16th century.

 

The most recent one I’ve read is Portrait of An Unknown Woman by Vanora Bennet (which also unveiled the mystery of the two princes in the Tower!!).

And from this, I came to know about memento mori.

 

Memento Mori is a Latin phrase which means “remember you must die”. The concept came from ancient Rome, where a Roman general in a parade of victory was often accompanied by a slave. This was to remind him, and everyone else, that no matter how high his position was today, tomorrow he could fall.

 

For whatever you are in this world, you would die and return to God just like any other commoner.

 

Most memento mori are products of Christian arts. Symbolic images of death (skeletons, winged skulls, angels, clocks) were incorporated into paintings, tombs, statues…you named it. A reminder that life is but a fleeting pleasure, and that death awaits every of us.

 

Phillippe De Champaigne’s Vanitas: Still Life With A Skull depicts three things; Life, Death and Time.

 

Back then, people often carried small reminders to remind them of their mortality. The most famous would be of Mary, the Queen of Scots (the great niece of King Henry VIII, the husband to the infamous Anne Boleyn) who owned a large watch, carved in the form of a silver skull.

 

Had I known all this back then, I imagine I’d  spend an enjoyable time trying to find the memento mori in each piece of art instead of putting all my efforts trying not to yawn and looking bored.

 

Haih.