Finally

Ok, that’s it.

 

I DON’T WANT TO GO.

 

It seems so hard…after everything,

 

I STILL COULDN’T FIND THE SILVER STRIPED ADIDAS SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

I went everywhere, literally everywhere in Miri looking for it. Found one in Mall but they didn’t have it in my size. What the hell! I don’t really have big feet you know. I mean, I’m not the type of person who finds it difficult to find shoes in her size.

SO WHY DIDN’T THEY HAVE IT IN MY SIZE?

WHY???

 

Let me google!

 

Adidas superstar trainers in white, silver and black

 

As soon as I saw it, I knew that’s “The One”.

Ok la, I’m being overly dramatic for such a pair of common shoes but I want those shoes badly laaaaa.

I want it I want it I want it.

Now I’ve to waste my time searching for it in KL. Argghhh.

Um, I was supposed to buy a pair of formal black shoes (having to wear it everyday in matriculation, I threw mine away as soon as I quit) but I figured a pair of Adidas shoes would suit my one piece of suit (which I also haven’t bought) better  ^_^

 

So, anyways..

Haven’t finished packing. I only started last night so, hmm. Nevermind. I’ll just throw everything in and sit on the bags when I’m about to close them.

So far so good.

 

Here’s the part where I should say how I’ll miss everyone and everything and how sad I am that I’ll only be able to come home once a year right?

There. I’ve said it. I hate these soppy parts.

 

So, yeah.

Here’s to 5 1/2 years in India, cheers

Welcome miracle

People say miracles do occur. And yes, they do.

When I discovered no amount of grieving and sulking could ever change what had occured, I started looking for other alternatives. Or in other words, started co-operating with my dad instead of rejecting blindly the universities he’d suggested. There were two universities I could still apply to for next year’s intake; Monash University and Manipal University.

Before I could finish filling in the applications however, my dad got a phone call.

 

Details

University: International Medical School – M.S. Ramaiah Medical College

Flight: 22nd October, 10.00 pm

 

Last time I checked, I didn’t have a placement. The next thing I know, voila! I’ll be going next Wednesday. I have to be in KL by Monday for briefing.

Again, I don’t know what happened. But no matter how I look at it, I know it has something to do with my dad’s many many letters and phone calls.

While I sulked and vent my frustration at him, he was busy sewing my future back together. As always.

This is for my mum and dad.

And for everyone’s words of encouragement, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. It’s always comforting to know people care

I’ve learnt a great lesson.

 

“Once you learn to quit, it becomes a habit.”

-Vince Laombard-

 

Indeed it has.

Pray everything goes well this time. 

Hey disaster

It never failed to amaze me how life could take a sudden turn. No matter how neatly your dreams are arranged, they could be crushed in a matter of seconds. Science could never explain that. Even if it could, I could never grasp the theory.

 

Flash news: I probably have to wait until February to pursue MBBS

 

They said I didn’t have a placement at IMS. They said the number of current students have exceeded the quota and that they’re in the process of applying with MMC to increase it. They said if it has been increased I would be given top priority since I was their student.

Right. So can someone explain to me why 19 of Kolej Mara Seremban students were the first batch to leave for IMS? KMS students as in not MSU students.

I’ve passed the entrance exam and interview. I’ve gotten the offer letter and MARA. Visa and all the other craps were all done. All that’s left was to go to India and study. Only that I couldn’t go because I don’t have a placement.

Why is it that those students who got lower CGPA than I did got to go but I didn’t? I don’t understand.

I don’t even understand the whole situation.

Yes I was devastated. Yes I was frustrated. I was angry, upset and other emotions words couldn’t begin to describe. Wouldn’t you? After months of thinking you’re going. After all the plannings you’ve done with your friends. After the news had spread to everyone who knew you.

Wouldn’t you feel what I felt?

My parents said I needed a vacation. A month ago, that would be pleasant. Now the only flight I would want to be on is the one taking me to the place where I would pursue MBBS. I don’t need a vacation. To take one would mean I won’t be going anywhere for sure. That I’ll still be stuck here for the months to come. I just need some peace and quiet. I need a place where no one would pester me with questions I don’t wanna answer.

That’s why, for almost a week, I’ve been staying at Gran’s. I never thought I would run away again, but I am. I couldn’t stay at home and be reminded of my failure. I could not look at my parents and not feel frustrated. I couldn’t  bear to answer people’s questions.

I couldn’t accept the whole situation. I want things to fix themselves without me having to do anything. I know it’s irresponsible but I couldn’t bring myself to face it.

So now you know why I didn’t update my blog. Why I didn’t answer your calls and reply your messages. Why I seemed to disappear and couldn’t be found anywhere.

It’s not because I’m already in India. It’s because I couldn’t get over of how much of a loser I am.

She who could not do medicine

Raya Oh Raya

Up until now, I could say that I’ve been so happy, I don’t really have any reason to shout or throw things.

Now there are so many things I could frown on.

Fucking university management is currently number one on the list. Because MARA has to process my forms, they’ve decided to manage me after they’ve managed the current batch. And until that happens, I’m stuck here until God knows when. On top of it, there are chances I’ll miss classes. That’s so fucking ridiculous.

I already have half a mind to enrol somewhere else.

Who cares. Screw them.

Ok. I’m done talking shit. Deep breath.

Oh yea, another shitty part was that my simcard, OF ALL DAYS, decided to meragam on the night before Raya!!! I could call but not send any messages out. Regardless to say, I couldn’t reply all those Raya wishes and I really am regretfully sorry

I was supposed to write something about Raya, hmmm… but what is there to write, right? Raya is basically the same for everyone. I visit you, you visit me, we talk, eat cakes and biscuits, drink soda yada yada yada

You’ll just have to look at the pictures until you feel sick of me, my family and my friends

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Someone didn’t know how to wear samping ha ha ha

 

With Achik and Nenek

 

 

 

 

Yazid gemok 1

 

Yazid gemok 2 spoilt my picture

 

“You never took my picture.” Nah laaa….

 

 

 

 

 

If you look carefully right, I’m actually TALLER than Yazid. And that’s with his hair sticking out everywhere. HE’S SHORT.

 

 

With Ustazah Siti Rodhiah

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

She’s so bloody tall already and she’s only eight years old.

 

 

Bucket’s filled with puke od?